April 03, 2002
I seem to have done something terrible to my ribcage over the last couple of days by, uh, coughing. The coughing has been an everpresent companion since February, and sometime last week I seem to have torn something loose during an especially athletic episode. Here's some free medical advice: If you have a cough that persists, oh, say, a month, see your doctor before you rupture something. In the interest of public service, here a few of the things you probably can't do with a strained ribcage:
- Breathe
- Speak above a whisper, unless fortified by vicodin or a lot of aspirin
- Sit in a chair, or (if you somehow do manage this):
- Get out of a chair
- Open a child-proof aspirin bottle
- Retrieve a ziploc full of cheerios from the floor
- Shift into 5th gear in a '92 Mazda Protege
- Laugh out loud at your ridiculous predicament
Now, if you'll excuse me. . .I hear the call of the heating pad and ESPN Wednesday Night Baseball. Night.
eric 7:07 PM
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